Bad Day

Today has not been a very good day for me. I can't quit crying and all day I have been extremely sick to my stomach. I keep thinking, maybe I can't have anymore children. I know that it will happen when God wants it to happen, so I shouldn't even worry. I'm not capable of not worrying. I'm a worry-wart! How do I talk myself into not being so obsessive? I don't know what is wrong with me today. Maybe I'm coming down with something. Too much pressure on me. I wish I could be more like my husband. He never worries or at least he doesn't let it affect him. I think one main reason it bothers me so much is because I want all of my children to know my Dad and time is running out.

New Gadget

I have ordered something new to add to my list of things to help me conceive.

The Fertile-Focus





http://www.fertile-focus.com/





It looks nifty. It might be a waste of money, who knows. I will try it out and definately post about it.

We don't want you here Aunt Flow!

I thought everything was going so well this time. My chart looked beautiful. Perfect timing and even triphasic! Damn if AF didn't come today. It is so disheartening. Especially, since we do not want to try next month. If we did and succeeded, we would have three children in the month of September 3 days or less apart.
So, we have decided to hold-off until January. If it doesn't happen then, we are going to try again in April. Here's hoping I get lucky on my birthday. :) For now, I guess I will try to enjoy the freedom I have with my body. For the past four years, I have been pregnant, breastfeeding, or TTC. It's been a long time since it has just been me to worry about. Maybe I'll go party or something. ;oP