19 weeks

Today I had my check-up at the doctor. They checked my glucose again and it is still fine. Thank goodness! Maybe I won't have the gestational diabetes this go around. This time the heartbeat was much faster. I really think that the nurse who checked it last time was actually hearing my heartbeat, because before she found the fast heartbeat this time, I heard the slow one again. It kind of makes me weary of her abilities. They sped through my appointment, as usual. He kinda-sorta measured me, but I don't think he got an accurate measurement. I'm wondering if they just don't care because they figure that since this is my third that everything will be all right. I don't know. I like the doctor, but not as much as my old one. It makes me depressed every now and then. It will be all right. I could probably have the baby at home and everything would be just fine. Who needs them anyways!

I have a Sono appointment for next month. July 3rd will be the day I may find out whether or not we will have another girl or a boy. Hopefully, we will find out so I can make everyone else happy. I swear I get sick of hearing the question. I shouldn't, but it really makes no difference to me if it is a boy or a girl. A baby is a baby, no matter what sex they are all wonderful.

I read somewhere that I should have gained approximately 14 lbs. by now. I have not gained 1 lb. I mean I'm not complaining. I know the baby is growing just fine because I can feel how big my uterus has gotten and it is a little bigger than what is expected for 19 weeks. The movements are getting so much stronger and when the nurse tried to hear the heartbeat today, it was moving so much that she could hardly keep up.

People keep saying stuff about showers and things, but I'm not really sure if I should have a shower. I mean it is my third one. Is that right? Even if it is a boy, I don't think I should have one. Maybe it is because of recent life events (not my pregnancy) has made me so bitter towards people, that I just don't want anything from anyone. I used to be such a loving person towards everyone, but so many people have shown me that they just don't care, it has just wore me down. The only people that do care will get the baby things anyway, so why do I really need a shower.

I'm not really that bitter of a person, I just don't want people to have to give me anything. Anyways, so far everything is going well. I still am having the horrible headaches pretty regular but it's not too bad with the meds. I try not to take them every time, because I just don't like the thought of taking pain relievers while I'm pregnant. It makes me smile every time I feel the baby move, which is pretty often now. I'm almost halfway through! Next week will be 20 weeks.